It’s understandable to chase a girl and try to win her heart by treating her well, but if you lower yourself without a bottom line, it will become a licking dog. In the end, even if you chase the girl you like, you may just Because of interests. And there are many ways to make girls happy. Why do you choose to kneel and lick?
Although many boys understand that licking a dog is not a house, when chasing girls What is the reason for always chasing and chasing turns "chasing" into "licking"?
In fact, this It is the pleaser personality that is at work. The so-called pleaser personality is called "ingratiating personality" in psychological terms. It is a potentially unhealthy behavior pattern.
The biggest characteristic of a pleaser personality is that they hide their emotions and are very afraid of conflict, so they suppress their own needs and do their best to meet the needs of the other person. Therefore, if you want to stop yourself from being a bitch and chase the girl you like normally, you need to start by getting rid of this flattering personality. So what should you do specifically?
1. Self-sufficiency
Self-sufficiency means relying on self-production to meet self-needs. This is the first condition to get rid of the people-pleaser personality.
In other words, don’t pin your hopes for anything on others.
The essence of a please-pleaser personality is actually a self-survival instinct. In order to ensure our own sense of security, we choose to please those who threaten us.
For example, when pursuing someone, you are afraid of lowering your lower limit because of some inappropriate behaviors that the other party may think.
For example, when you are in love, you are afraid that quarreling and bickering over unimportant things will affect your relationship. In order to avoid conflicts, you always choose to compromise.
The result is predictable, getting worse and worse.
Hope is always obtained through one's own positive efforts, and a sense of security can only be given to oneself.
Emotions are actually a game. Only when the energy of both parties is roughly equal can it proceed smoothly.
You can like it, but you can’t give up your work, interests, communication, etc., or even your personality just because you like it.
2. Correct understanding of interpersonal relationships
People with a please-pleaser personality are always concerned about gains and losses in interpersonal relationships and are afraid of them. The relationship broke down because of some of my words and actions.
Therefore, we usually attach great importance to every relationship. When we meet a good person, we feel that the other person is true love.
When we confirm again and again that our position is not as important in the other person’s mind as we think, we will start to think again.Beginning to fall into the vortex of "there is no true love in the world".
As everyone knows, these are all dramas in our own hearts, and the emotions between people are complicated.
For example, some people are fair-weather friends, some people are hobby friends, some people are friends with benefits, etc.
We may establish contact with each other because of something or some things, but we must understand that feelings are divided into levels, and speculation does not mean true love.
Whether true love can be identified can only be judged by time during the process of establishing contact with the other person.
Therefore, we don’t have to take all relationships seriously.
The person who likes you must be slowly moving closer to you as you like her.
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